This informal CPD article, ‘Understanding the Child’s Brain: A Gentle Guide to Behaviour and Regulation’ was provided by Mind Tools for Kids, who support adults to make a difference in children’s lives through practical, child-centred training, providing guidance, tools and resources to help people understand and respond to children’s emotional needs using a gentle, brain-informed approach.
As adults, it can be easy to forget that children’s brains are still under construction. When a child melts down over a snack, freezes at the school gate, or explodes during a disagreement, it’s natural to feel confused or frustrated. But a little insight into their developing brain can help us respond with more compassion, clarity and connection.
This article offers a simple introduction to how a child’s brain works, especially the areas that influence behaviour, emotion and self-regulation.
The Prefrontal Cortex: Still Under Construction
This area, just behind the forehead, is responsible for top-level thinking: decision-making, planning, impulse control and problem-solving. In children, it is far from fully developed and won't be until their mid-20s (1).
This explains why children may:
- Act before they think
- Struggle to wait their turn
- Find it hard to solve problems when upset
- Need lots of repetition and routine
These are not signs of disobedience. They are signs of development.
The Amygdala: The Brain’s Alarm System
Tucked deep in the brain, the amygdala scans for danger and sounds the alarm when it senses a threat. That threat might be a loud noise, a telling-off, or even a difficult maths question. The amygdala doesn’t distinguish between a real threat and a perceived one. It just responds (2).
This sets off the classic stress response: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. These responses are protective, but they also override logical thinking. In this state, reasoning with a child is often ineffective because their brain isn’t ready to listen (3).
The Nervous System: Preparing the Body
Once the alarm sounds, the nervous system prepares the body for action. The heart races, breathing quickens, digestion slows, and muscles get ready to move. This is called dysregulation (4).
A dysregulated child might appear angry, defiant, panicked or withdrawn. But what they really need is support to return to safety, physically and emotionally. Until then, the thinking part of the brain is essentially offline (3).
Making Brain Science Child-Friendly
Children don’t learn best from lectures, but they do learn from metaphors, stories and play. By using simple explanations and symbolic tools like characters or visuals, adults can help children understand what’s going on inside their bodies and minds (5).
For example:
- The survival brain might be described as the part that reacts fast to keep us safe.
- The emotional brain helps us connect, feel and remember.
- The thinking brain helps us reflect, make decisions and stay focused: but it only works well when the others are calm.
- The learning brain reminds us that we can always grow and adapt.
By helping children understand these internal systems, we give them a way to:
- Recognise their own emotional states
- Respond to stress more skilfully
- Build resilience and emotional vocabulary
Why This Matters
When adults understand what’s going on behind behaviour, we can move from correction to connection. Instead of asking “Why are you behaving like this?”, we begin to ask, “What’s going on for you?” and “What do you need right now?” (6).
This shift creates space for children to feel safe, seen and supported rather than shamed or misunderstood. In time, they learn to identify their needs, calm their bodies, and access their thinking brain more easily. This is the foundation of emotional regulation and long-term wellbeing.
We hope this article was helpful. For more information from Mind Tools for Kids, please visit their CPD Member Directory page. Alternatively, please visit the CPD Industry Hubs for more CPD articles, courses and events relevant to your Continuing Professional Development requirements.
REFERENCES
(1) Blakemore, S. J., & Choudhury, S. (2006). Development of the adolescent brain: Implications for executive function and social cognition. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 47(3–4), 296–312.
(2) Perry, B. D. (2006). Fear and learning: Trauma-related factors in the adult education process. New Directions for Adult and Continuing Education, 110, 21–27.
(3) Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind. London: Scribe.
(4) Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
(5) Cozolino, L. (2013). The Social Neuroscience of Education: Optimizing Attachment and Learning in the Classroom. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
(6) Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind. New York: Bantam Books.
